A little mind teaser for you...

This is really lame, but the Morale Supression Chair thinks it is funny (go figure!) so I've decided to post. Also, I'm hoping to get the posts rolling again....

How good are you in problem solving...
-There is a bus with 7 Girls
-Each girl carries 7 bags
-Inside each bag there is 7 cats
-Every cat has 7 kittens
-All cats have 4 legs each

Question: How many legs are in the bus?

Bat Removal Update Email

Bldg. XX Occupants:

Today, 11/13/06, a contractor initiated the process of excluding bats from Bldg. XX. The process will entail the following:

1. The contractor will use a silicone caulk to seal between the roof flashing and the building along the entire perimeter of Bldg. XX. During this step the focus will be on those areas that are not active points of entry for the bats. Due to the size of the building, this step will take 4-5 business days.
2. The contractor will then attach "check valves" over each active point of ingress/egress. The check valves will allow bats to exit but not re-enter. The check valves will remain in place for an additional 5-6 days to ensure all bats have left the building.
3. The contractor will then remove the check valves and seal the openings that were the points of ingress/egress.

The entire exclusion process will take approximately two weeks.

It should be noted that no bats will be harmed during the exclusion process. The bats will not be captured, they will simply fly away and not be allowed to re-enter Bldg. XX.

Please contact me should you have any questions.

Bats are in the building.....may substantially delay work!

I just wanted to share this email that I have received from an Environmental, Health, and Safety Employee from the fine establishment where our team currently resides. We have notified the chair of the sugar daddy committee as well as the big cheese to let them know of the situation and the reason for possible decreased levels of productivity. The email reads as follows:

Bldg. XX Occupants:

As I'm sure you are aware, bats have been observed within the Bldg. XX interior. The Facilities Department is actively seeking a resolution to this problem and it is expected that the process to remove the bats will begin within the next week.

Until such time as the bats have been effectively excluded from Bldg. XX, do not touch any bat that you encounter. Any bat seen within the building should be promptly reported to the Facilities Helpdesk at x5555.

Once the date for the start of the exclusion process has been determined, you will receive another email more clearly informing you of the process. I ask for your continued patience with this issue.

Please contact me if you have any questions or concerns.

In case you were wondering....

CK is getting a Publix sub for dinner tonight. All he can think about all day is how delicious it is going to taste, oh the sweet tangy chicken fingers, piled high with all of his favorite toppings. Yes from the outside it may seem like he leads a daring life......leading the engagement team to victory, cracking the whip as he stands over the engagement team minions as we type furiously, etc, etc. But deep down he is just really a simple guy, who likes simple things like Publix subs. Any guys whose highlight of the day is his Publix sub dinner indicates monotony. Heck, I think I'm one up on him......at least I have chocolate pieces with jimmie's to look forward to.

Break out your old Vanilla Ice record and get down with it!

Stop collaborate and listen
Audit failure can lead to conviction
Internal control, grabs a hold of me tightly
I think about walk-throughs daily and nightly.
Will it stop?
Yo I don't know
It just depends on SOX Foh-oh-Foh.
With your books you better not be a vandal,
Or we'll expose you like the Enron scandal
Audit risk baby
Audit risk baby
Audit!
Inherent risk constantly looms
I'm comin' around makin' sure you lock all your rooms.
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Fraud can result in a serious felony.
Love or leave it
Inherent risk is here to stay
You better take caution
Cause PCAOB don't play!
If there's a problem
YO I'll solve it
Check out the books while my CPA resolves it!
Audit risk baby
Audit risk baby
Now that the financial statement risk is jumping
With the bass kicked in, the detection risk is pump'n
Quick to the point, detection risk there's no faking
Cooking your books we'll fry you like bacon!
Catching them, if they're quick and nimble,
If your detected you'll be a criminal!
Audit risk baby
Audit risk baby
Yo let's go audit,
Word to your partner.

VOTE NOW!

So the team has decided that we need a mini-fridge in the room. The request of a mini-fridge arises out of the basic need to keep the First Lady of Food quiet and diligently working and because our current food drawer is not capable of keeping our drinks cool or housing perishable snacks. However, mini-fridges are not really that cheap and with our current budget dwindling down due to the mad shopping spree at the local Office Max on high powered staplers and electric holepunches, it will take a lot of convincing to get approval from our Sugar Daddy. We thought we would poll you, our readers, to find out what you think, so please vote in the survey on the right sidebar!

Beer at Work

Sixteen Reasons Why You Should Have Beer at Work:

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare Butt" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross."

Hello!

Welcome! As chair of the Entertainment Committee I would like to welcome you to our blog. I hope you enjoy reading about the drama, tears, heartache, and successes of our engagement team as we work together day in and day out to take over the world. Please note that any resemblance to real people or organizations depicted in this blog are purely coincidental. Void where prohibited.